Random Variables

Sometimes past haunts me,
Sometimes anxiety digs in.

Mixed feelings and a dire need to let it out hard.
I scroll through my contact list but find none.
Everyone is pretending or busy or trying to sleep.
Music plays in the background.
I put my phone on my bed.
A cup of tea, a blank stare at the distant lights
And slowly I drown into the stream my own thoughts.

There is always a beginning,

You just need a push.
A leap of faith perhaps,

It pushes you to do it .
Till you reach that state it's tough, 

All it takes is one step. 

Trust your soul,trust yourself  and just start.
Let it be inside out,
Let it be how it is.
Just like that, one day you will flow,
Flow like a river.  

I wish I was a nomad,
Travel places, see the unseen.
I wish I was a novel,
Create worlds, drift through time.
I wish I was the moon,
Dazzle, calm and confident.
I wish I was a wanderlust,
Get outside, drive down a new road.
Of all the things in the world,
Oh, how I wish I was not me.

A touch, all it was
blood rushed, heart pumped
Conflict, heart and mind
Submissive, body and soul
Sensation, hot and cold
Pain, sweet and sour
Tears, streaming down the pearls

An emotion never wandered before

A touch, all it was.