Random Variables

The Species:Quizzer

Still from Brahman Naman

Recently Brahman Naman became the first Indian movie to be released on Netflix worldwide. Though the movie created a hype over its NetFlix release but for some of us it was more than that. The movie deals with the life and depressation of Naman, a very engangered species called Quizzers.

With the realease of Brahman Naman,let us know or say be englinghten about this rare species 'QUIZZER'

Who Cares???

Does it matter to you how the creators of Batman chose the name Bruce Wayne for him when you are engrossed watching the epic trilogy by Nolan?

Do you know whom did Steve Jobs make his first call using the iPhone during its release ceremony when you’re busy making your own calls with the newest version of iPhone?

Do you even care whose words are those that are inscribed on your favorite Nike T-shirt?

Was Imtiaz Ali's much acclaimed movie Highway, just only a love story?

Obviously, you don’t,most of them don't,why should anyone do???

The only species on the face of earth who not only pay attention to such things but whose lives revolve around such information and trivia are Quizzers. While many college flicks have been made on the prodigy singer, dancer and debater, quizzers have hardly been bestowed upon such privilege. And hence there is a sense of mystery that surrounds a quizzer. Who are they? Where they come from? So how do you spot one when you see one,are they more rarer than than the POKEMON?

Here is a guide to know the ‘Know-it-alls’.

Brought up on encyclopedia, wedded to trivia and sleeping with Wikipedia, quizzers kick off their days with newspapers for breakfast. But they don’t read the front page news or the long and boring editorials but instead scrounge the newspapers for trivia that no normal being will notice. But a quizzer will, for he knows someone somewhere will pick that trivia and turn into a quiz question. And obviously that someone will be no one else but another quizzer.
You know a guy is a quizzer when his classmates have nicknamed him ‘Wikipedia’. Yes, that’s the standard nickname every quizzer earns invariably across all colleges across all universities. However, the irony is no quizzer likes this ‘honour’ of being called Wikipedia for only he knows how the misinformation and wrong facts on the website has let him down in quizzes.
No matter where they are, in a Metro or at a McDonald’s or in your college corridor, you know you’re listening to two quizzers speaking when the whole conversation is laced with Bro, do you know this one…? or Dude, Did you know…?
Quizzers are hard to be found in the classrooms. Thanks to the booming quizzing scene in Delhi where almost every college festival has a quiz as a marquee event , a quizzer’s life in university is incomplete if he hasn’t breathed in the air of all the colleges in the city.
Courtesy quizzes, these people traverse from one girls’ college to another like a boss. Hell, they even get to enter college fests without passes. Getting jealous? Huh? Now here’s the catch. This is a Sheldon Cooper-ish breed and the colleges their friends would bribe to enter, they simply go there, win quizzes, collect their prize and come back home to prepare for the next quiz.
Quizzers have an interesting social life. You know you’re visiting a quizzer’s Facebook profile when the number of quiz and trivia pages liked is 5 times the number of friends in his or her friend list. Their news feed reads more like a question paper waiting to be solved. Besides, an average quizzer’s smartphone is hardly used for phone calls and messages. Instead its stashed with books, quizzes and THAT app called QuizUp.
So what’s the motivation behind gulping facts, crunching dates and memorizing the most random of trivia? Well if any quizzer answers to that question with anything other than the word money, or its synonyms, DON’T BELIEVE HIM. Glory and knowledge kept aside, every quizzer loves the quick bucks that quizzing brings.
These encyclopedia guzzlers are also among the most misunderstood people in this world, thanks to a certain septuagenarian who goes by the name Amitabh Bacchan! Due to his show KBC, the whole world around quizzers thinks that quizzing at university level is just another MCQ ka paper. Oh please!
The most common advice that every non quizzer has to give to a quizzer is – Arre Dude KBC me try kar na! – NEVER do that. And there is one more – Arre waah what ‘GK’ man! You toh will crack UPSC with ease! Du’h!
The range of things that they know and can talk about is envious. A quizzer has this unique ability to talk about books that he hasn’t read, movies that he hasn’t watched, places that he hasn’t visited all with elan, because HE KNOWS STUFF. They always have so much new information to pepper you with that you never get bored in their company. So make sure you have a quizzer friend in your college life.

P. S – Bruce Wayne’s first name came from Robert Bruce, the Scottish patriot. Wayne, being a playboy, was a man of gentry. While his second name came from Anthony Wayne who was a United States Army officer, statesman whose military exploits and fiery personality quickly earned him promotion to brigadier general and the sobriquet Mad Anthony.

On January 9, 2007, Steve Jobs took out the yet to be released iPhone and dialed a Starbucks in San Francisco. Good morning! answered the polite voice of employee Ying Hang “Hannah” Zhang. How may I help you?

Yes, I’d like to order 4,000 Lattes to go, please. Jobs said, grinning. No, just kidding. Wrong number. Goodbye!

The famous Nike slogan came from a spree killer Gary Gilmore, who received the death penalty in 1976. When the firing squad asked Gilmore if he had any last words, he simply said Let’s do it. When Dan Wieden of Wieden+Kennedy was tapped to create a tagline for Nike a decade later, something about Gilmore’s words just seemed to fit. “Let’s” was changed to “Just”.

Highway was not even a love story it was based on psychological phenomenon called Stockholm syndrome.

P.P.S – Because a quizzer never signs off without a dose of trivia. ;)